'Tis the season when even the grumpiest blogger must bow to the pressure of the masses and say, "Merry Christmas" or at least "Happy Holidays."
Merry Christmas!
Happy Holidays!
And Happy New Year, too.
I should post a picture of something festive here but instead I will direct you to the brilliant Mil Millington's Xmas card. He wrote the hilarious book Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About and his Christmas card is much funnier than anything I can come up with at the mo.
Hey, I've got stuff to do, man!
Enjoy the funny read and pretend I wrote it but don't pretend I plagiarised it. Or you can just accept that he wrote it and I sent you a link. Either way, my gift to all of you:
Mil Millington's 2011 Xmas Card
Peace, people! I mean, honestly . . .
xoxo Madeline
Winner of Erotic Awards 2011 "Story Teller of the Year." Sarah's Education is 3rd on the Stellar Libraries' list of 30 most titillating tales of all time, reports UK newspaper The Daily Mail,November 2012. READ ME AND SEE FOR YOURSELF!
About Me
- Madeline Moore
- Toronto, Ontario, Canada
- Wild Card, 2006. Winner of "best oral sex scene" - Scarlet Magazine. Amanda's Young Men, 2009. Excerpted in Scarlet Magazine; Juicy Bits. Sarah's Education, 2009. Hit the #1 spots on Amazon.co.uk adult fiction & adult romance best seller lists. Jade Magazine bestowed the best cover art, 2009 award on Sarah's Education. "Get Up, Stand Up!" which appeared in The Cougar Book (Logical-Lust) won me the title 'Story Teller of the Year 2011' at The Erotic Awards, London, UK. Sarah's Education took the #3 spot on a list of the 30 most titillating titles of all time, as reported in English Daily Mail ;Female; Nov. 12, 2012. Debutante, a petite novel for e-publisher Imprint Mischief, (Harper-Collins) pubbed in 2012. I tutor writing students and am a member of the WGC. D.M. Thomas said: Madeline Moore writes great sex without metaphor and that's not easy to do. Kris Saknussemm said: You're a good egg, Madeline Moore. I am a good egg who writes great sex without metaphor! Yippee!
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Saturday, 15 October 2011
My Car and Me - A short short silly silly story
I was hanging out at Kristina Wright's blog admiring her babies and her work ethic, not necessarily in that order, and I realized I missed blogging. So here I am!
Hmm. A few moments have passed while I tried to think of what to write about.
Well, this week I had to purchase a new muffler for my car. No, you silly Brits, I don't mean one of these:
Such a beautiful painting by Kristin Kemper which you can buy here
and I'm not talking about the brolly, either, as you Brits call an umbrella, or in this case three umbrellas from
playle.com:
So we're perfectly clear, now, that I'm not talking about this, which I would have been much happier purchasing:
Correct?
I'm talking about this stupid, expensive ugly essential thing:
which you may purchase here
It ate up all my earnings for a week of tutoring writing students.
This blog has already made me remember why I took a break from the blog.
Here, this helps:
You can see more of the same here
So I was pretty grumpy about spending money on car parts until I got home and found this in my trunk:
And then I felt much better.
The End
xoxo Madeline Moore
Hmm. A few moments have passed while I tried to think of what to write about.
Well, this week I had to purchase a new muffler for my car. No, you silly Brits, I don't mean one of these:
Such a beautiful painting by Kristin Kemper which you can buy here
and I'm not talking about the brolly, either, as you Brits call an umbrella, or in this case three umbrellas from
playle.com:
So we're perfectly clear, now, that I'm not talking about this, which I would have been much happier purchasing:
Correct?
I'm talking about this stupid, expensive ugly essential thing:
which you may purchase here
It ate up all my earnings for a week of tutoring writing students.
This blog has already made me remember why I took a break from the blog.
Here, this helps:
You can see more of the same here
So I was pretty grumpy about spending money on car parts until I got home and found this in my trunk:
And then I felt much better.
The End
xoxo Madeline Moore
Labels:
brollies,
car parts,
Madeline Moore,
mufflers,
silly
Thursday, 6 October 2011
My Trophy is Here!
What a beauty! I won this amazing award, hand-crafted in Brazil, for my story "Get Up, Stand Up!" which appeared in the Logical Lust e-book and book The Cougar Book, edited by Jolie du Pre.
Thanks to Kristina Lloyd for representing me at the "Night of the Senses" Awards Ceremony. Thanks to Tuppy Owens and the many other folks who made the event a wild and wonderful and weird celebration of S-E-X.
This event supports the charity "Outsiders"
Outsiders is a unique charity which provides:-
• a private and safe club for physically and socially disabled people where they can gain confidence and support each other in their journey enjoy sex and find a partner. The Club is a microcosm of acceptance in a hostile world.
• the Sex and Disability Helpline which is free to callers and people who email from all over the world.globe.
• The Sexual Health and Disability Alliance for health professionals to support each other and learn more about sexuality and disability
• campaigns and projects to improve the personal lives of disabled people and improve their acceptance as sexual partners
Outsiders was founded in 1979 by Dr Tuppy Owens who is also the promoter of The Night of the Senses. It is a registered charity No 283350.
Hurrah for Tuppy and the Outsiders and The Night of the Senses and Kristina Lloyd.
Hurrah for my very own flying penis.
xoxo Mad
Saturday, 30 July 2011
Plagiarism and Bella0Rose
I am a professional writer with more than one deadline to meet. I also lead a full, enjoyable life with Felix Baron: writer, lover, and friend.
When I was alerted to the fact that my story “Be A Door,” which is presently to be found on page two of “What’s New” on the literary erotica site Oysters and Chocolate had been appropriated by someone named Bella0Rose I joined Fetlife.com to investigate.
Sure enough, my story, now titled “Door” and the name of one character changed, was boldly listed under “Writing.” To add to the sting, she responded to the positive comments she received from admirers of the tale thusly:
thank you i did enjoy writing it .. it is from some experiences and a bit of fantasy mixed in with the story.
I have a contract with Oysters and Chocolate that agrees not to publish the story anywhere else for a period of time. Even if Bella had republished the story, crediting me and Oysters and Chocolate, she would have been in violation of my contract.
But that isn’t what she did. She plagiarised my story.
I alerted Fetlife.com and Oysters and Chocolate.
I created groups to discourage Bella0rose and other plagiarists like her (as it turns out most if not all of ‘her’ writing is plagiarised from another source) from cutting and pasting the work of real writers onto their sites.
Real writers get paid for using words in a way that captures the imagination, awakens the senses and impacts on readers. It’s hard work.
Cutting and pasting is something any child can do.
I asked Bella0rose for a public apology. Instead I’ve had 3 private apologies. None of them admits that she stole my story. She continues to insist that it was not her intention to plagiarise me.
Here are the apologies:
1) I would like to send my apology to you if my story is like yours. It was not my intention to take your story and make it my writing. Please accept my apology, I am sorry.
2) I am truly sorry as I was not trying to use your work and I was not intending to plagiarize your work. When I put the story on my profile I did not put where I had found the story or the author and I did not state that I changed a character’s name that is where my mistake lies and for this I am truly sorry.
I have corrected my mistakes and again I do apologize.
3) I again state that I am sorry for not referencing you and where I saw the story, I made a mistake. I took down the story immediately. This is my 3rd apology to you I can do no more or less but to keep saying I am sorry.
If by “immediately” she means once she’d been caught, well, that much is true.
I realize that for some people, their on-line life is the only real life they have. I don’t want to get her kicked off this site. I don’t care about her one way or the other. What I care about is my work.
All three apologies do not address these questions:
If you didn’t intend to plagiarise my story why did you change the title and the name of a character?
If you didn’t intend to plagiarize my story why did you accept the compliments you received on its quality by replying, “thank you i did enjoy writing it .. it is from some experiences and a bit of fantasy mixed in with the story.’
It seems that it isn’t possible to get through to her. She is in the wrong but she continues, in my opinion, to deny it.
Here is what my colleagues and I do when we read a story we really like:
We post on our blogs or on facebook: Wow. Shar Azade (for example) has written an amazing story. It gave me shivers – in a good way. Read it here: link.
We don’t show our enthusiasm for each other’s work by cutting and pasting it onto our own sites and giving it a new name. That is not admiration for another person’s work.
It is plagiarism.
Plagiarism is against the law.
I’ve yet to receive a public apology from Bella0rose and when/if I do, it will be this blather about not intending to steal the story. That’s not an apology. It’s a lie.
As a professional writer, I can’t keep explaining this to Bella0rose. I have work to do.
All I can say is that she should be heartily ashamed of herself. She is a thief. There are laws against what she did.
The next time Bella0rose hears from me, it will be through my publishers or my lawyer.
When I was alerted to the fact that my story “Be A Door,” which is presently to be found on page two of “What’s New” on the literary erotica site Oysters and Chocolate had been appropriated by someone named Bella0Rose I joined Fetlife.com to investigate.
Sure enough, my story, now titled “Door” and the name of one character changed, was boldly listed under “Writing.” To add to the sting, she responded to the positive comments she received from admirers of the tale thusly:
thank you i did enjoy writing it .. it is from some experiences and a bit of fantasy mixed in with the story.
I have a contract with Oysters and Chocolate that agrees not to publish the story anywhere else for a period of time. Even if Bella had republished the story, crediting me and Oysters and Chocolate, she would have been in violation of my contract.
But that isn’t what she did. She plagiarised my story.
I alerted Fetlife.com and Oysters and Chocolate.
I created groups to discourage Bella0rose and other plagiarists like her (as it turns out most if not all of ‘her’ writing is plagiarised from another source) from cutting and pasting the work of real writers onto their sites.
Real writers get paid for using words in a way that captures the imagination, awakens the senses and impacts on readers. It’s hard work.
Cutting and pasting is something any child can do.
I asked Bella0rose for a public apology. Instead I’ve had 3 private apologies. None of them admits that she stole my story. She continues to insist that it was not her intention to plagiarise me.
Here are the apologies:
1) I would like to send my apology to you if my story is like yours. It was not my intention to take your story and make it my writing. Please accept my apology, I am sorry.
2) I am truly sorry as I was not trying to use your work and I was not intending to plagiarize your work. When I put the story on my profile I did not put where I had found the story or the author and I did not state that I changed a character’s name that is where my mistake lies and for this I am truly sorry.
I have corrected my mistakes and again I do apologize.
3) I again state that I am sorry for not referencing you and where I saw the story, I made a mistake. I took down the story immediately. This is my 3rd apology to you I can do no more or less but to keep saying I am sorry.
If by “immediately” she means once she’d been caught, well, that much is true.
I realize that for some people, their on-line life is the only real life they have. I don’t want to get her kicked off this site. I don’t care about her one way or the other. What I care about is my work.
All three apologies do not address these questions:
If you didn’t intend to plagiarise my story why did you change the title and the name of a character?
If you didn’t intend to plagiarize my story why did you accept the compliments you received on its quality by replying, “thank you i did enjoy writing it .. it is from some experiences and a bit of fantasy mixed in with the story.’
It seems that it isn’t possible to get through to her. She is in the wrong but she continues, in my opinion, to deny it.
Here is what my colleagues and I do when we read a story we really like:
We post on our blogs or on facebook: Wow. Shar Azade (for example) has written an amazing story. It gave me shivers – in a good way. Read it here: link.
We don’t show our enthusiasm for each other’s work by cutting and pasting it onto our own sites and giving it a new name. That is not admiration for another person’s work.
It is plagiarism.
Plagiarism is against the law.
I’ve yet to receive a public apology from Bella0rose and when/if I do, it will be this blather about not intending to steal the story. That’s not an apology. It’s a lie.
As a professional writer, I can’t keep explaining this to Bella0rose. I have work to do.
All I can say is that she should be heartily ashamed of herself. She is a thief. There are laws against what she did.
The next time Bella0rose hears from me, it will be through my publishers or my lawyer.
Labels:
Be A Door,
Bella0rose,
Fetlife.com,
Oysters and Chocolate,
Plagiarism
Thursday, 21 July 2011
Oysters and Chocolate
I'm excited to announce that on Friday, July 22, my story "Be A Door" will go live on the fabulous, literary e-zine Oysters and Chocolate.
No, no, not this kind of Door:
I mean this kind of door:
Intrigued?
Well, I hope so!
Please take a few minutes to check out "Be A Door" by Madeline Moore.
xoxo Mad
Thank you!
No, no, not this kind of Door:
I mean this kind of door:
Intrigued?
Well, I hope so!
Please take a few minutes to check out "Be A Door" by Madeline Moore.
xoxo Mad
Thank you!
Labels:
. Madeline Moore,
Be A Door,
Oysters and Chocolate
Sunday, 10 July 2011
Hiatus
I'm taking a break from blogger.
Look for me on facebook, or email me at telltale@primus.ca
Bye for now!
xoxo Madeline
picture credit: societiesmirror.com
Monday, 20 June 2011
Eye Candy Monday - Sexy Guys Still in Underwear
What? You lazy boys. Get up and do your own damn laundry.
As you all know, I aim to please. The comments on "Laundry Machismo" complained that they came to see pictures of sexy guys in their underwear not tantrum-throwing-men-who-think-like-two-year-olds. Well, alright then.
Is this better?
or this?
and this?
not something like this, right?
There, is everybody happy now? Yay!
xoxo Madeline
photo credits (in order)
hotpic46.photobucket
remuicus.org
sexyundies.or.uk
yourfunnystuff.com
As you all know, I aim to please. The comments on "Laundry Machismo" complained that they came to see pictures of sexy guys in their underwear not tantrum-throwing-men-who-think-like-two-year-olds. Well, alright then.
Is this better?
or this?
and this?
not something like this, right?
There, is everybody happy now? Yay!
xoxo Madeline
photo credits (in order)
hotpic46.photobucket
remuicus.org
sexyundies.or.uk
yourfunnystuff.com
Friday, 17 June 2011
Laundry Room Machismo
I'm inspired by recent events (see Alana Noel Voth's recent piece on bullying, which inspired Kristina Wright's piece on Oh Get A Grip!)to post this 'just getting something off my chest' piece I wrote a couple of months ago.
It isn't smart or thoughtful or intellectual. It's a from-the-gut "I don't get it!" rant.
Let me start by saying I don't hate men. I've made it through a fairly ugly separation in which I did not get what I deserved and have been ripped off a number of times by male businessmen. Prior to that I survived years of relationships with men. I live with one now. But - who do so many of them think they are? This?
I guess they think they are the supreme rulers of the planet. Which is, by and large, the truth. But does the fact that we have a male Prime Minister entitle every man to self-righteous jerkdom?
We have a laundry room in my apartment building. Sometimes I chat with the other women doing the laundry, or converse with their little children to give the harried mothers a mini-break. We commiserate about the drudgery of doing laundry. Sometimes we don't talk. We're too busy trying to get through the drudgery. We work in companionable silence.
Every so often a man shows up. Then, the casual camaraderie is broken.
Men don't like doing laundry. Here's an inside tip, guys - neither do women! Laundry is a job that needs to get done. Unlike you, we do laundry for the whole family, not just for ourselves. So we get a good look at a man's dirty clothes and guess what. It's not a pretty sight.
When a man shows up, in my experience, he starts bitching. He's probably in a bad mood because he has to do his laundry, and that's not a job befitting one who is of the same sex as the Prime Minister of Canada.
Last time, it was a fellow with anger issues who tantrummed like a baby because the washers and dryers were on a card system, no longer coin operated. Of course, this had been announced via posted messages in the elevators, but perhaps he missed them, or perhaps he can't read. At any rate, he screamed at me, as if I were his abused wife or worn out mother.
”This is the most fucking ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my life,” he raged. He must've led a very sheltered life.
Like most women, I've encountered guys like this before.
I knew if I responded he'd double his fury. But after a few minutes of his profane screeching, I simply couldn't stand it any longer.
“It's really not that difficult,” I said.
Yes, he exploded, as I'd known he would. I left.
Today, I loaded four washers (of six) with my laundry. It's a busy afternoon. The washers and dryers are in full use.
A man, worse, a young man, came in. He carried a laundry basket with his precious gym shorts and dirty socks in it. Once he discovered there was no washer for him, he turned on me.
“How many washers are you using?” he demanded to know.
”Four,” I replied.
“Don't you think that's selfish?” he asked.
“No,” I replied.
Oh boy, that got him good. He started raving at me. “You don't think it's selfish to use ALL the washers and leave NONE for the rest of the people in the building?”
“Snooze, lose,” I replied.
He left in a huff, muttering rudities. The woman using the other two washers and I looked at each other, shrugged, laughed, and continued doing our laundry.
I think perhaps he would've liked it if I'd said, “Oh poor you, just leave your dirty clothes here and I'll do them for you and let you get back to the serious business of running the country.” But I didn't.
I think if bad tempered men knew how silly they look when they start yelling at women in the laundry room, if they knew how little effect their tantrums have on us, they might think twice. Perhaps, after their little pooh pooh fit, when they do their laundry and see the evidence of their fury in their underpants, they'll get the message.
Must go, if I don't get my laundry out of the dryers the moment it's done, I know not what will happen to it. The PM by proxy might seek revenge . . .
photos: sodahead.com
bleacherreport.com
facebook.com
babyshower.net
It isn't smart or thoughtful or intellectual. It's a from-the-gut "I don't get it!" rant.
Let me start by saying I don't hate men. I've made it through a fairly ugly separation in which I did not get what I deserved and have been ripped off a number of times by male businessmen. Prior to that I survived years of relationships with men. I live with one now. But - who do so many of them think they are? This?
I guess they think they are the supreme rulers of the planet. Which is, by and large, the truth. But does the fact that we have a male Prime Minister entitle every man to self-righteous jerkdom?
We have a laundry room in my apartment building. Sometimes I chat with the other women doing the laundry, or converse with their little children to give the harried mothers a mini-break. We commiserate about the drudgery of doing laundry. Sometimes we don't talk. We're too busy trying to get through the drudgery. We work in companionable silence.
Every so often a man shows up. Then, the casual camaraderie is broken.
Men don't like doing laundry. Here's an inside tip, guys - neither do women! Laundry is a job that needs to get done. Unlike you, we do laundry for the whole family, not just for ourselves. So we get a good look at a man's dirty clothes and guess what. It's not a pretty sight.
When a man shows up, in my experience, he starts bitching. He's probably in a bad mood because he has to do his laundry, and that's not a job befitting one who is of the same sex as the Prime Minister of Canada.
Last time, it was a fellow with anger issues who tantrummed like a baby because the washers and dryers were on a card system, no longer coin operated. Of course, this had been announced via posted messages in the elevators, but perhaps he missed them, or perhaps he can't read. At any rate, he screamed at me, as if I were his abused wife or worn out mother.
”This is the most fucking ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my life,” he raged. He must've led a very sheltered life.
Like most women, I've encountered guys like this before.
I knew if I responded he'd double his fury. But after a few minutes of his profane screeching, I simply couldn't stand it any longer.
“It's really not that difficult,” I said.
Yes, he exploded, as I'd known he would. I left.
Today, I loaded four washers (of six) with my laundry. It's a busy afternoon. The washers and dryers are in full use.
A man, worse, a young man, came in. He carried a laundry basket with his precious gym shorts and dirty socks in it. Once he discovered there was no washer for him, he turned on me.
“How many washers are you using?” he demanded to know.
”Four,” I replied.
“Don't you think that's selfish?” he asked.
“No,” I replied.
Oh boy, that got him good. He started raving at me. “You don't think it's selfish to use ALL the washers and leave NONE for the rest of the people in the building?”
“Snooze, lose,” I replied.
He left in a huff, muttering rudities. The woman using the other two washers and I looked at each other, shrugged, laughed, and continued doing our laundry.
I think perhaps he would've liked it if I'd said, “Oh poor you, just leave your dirty clothes here and I'll do them for you and let you get back to the serious business of running the country.” But I didn't.
I think if bad tempered men knew how silly they look when they start yelling at women in the laundry room, if they knew how little effect their tantrums have on us, they might think twice. Perhaps, after their little pooh pooh fit, when they do their laundry and see the evidence of their fury in their underpants, they'll get the message.
Must go, if I don't get my laundry out of the dryers the moment it's done, I know not what will happen to it. The PM by proxy might seek revenge . . .
photos: sodahead.com
bleacherreport.com
facebook.com
babyshower.net
Monday, 6 June 2011
Eye Candy Monday
I guess this is sexy eye candy, maybe even romantic eye candy, rather than eye candy that'll get you all hot and bothered.
But I think it's really pretty and I still believe in love.
I think this couple is in love.
xoxo Mad
ps - I think this will have to do for this week's eye candy Monday as well.
June 13, 2011.
Sunday, 29 May 2011
Kids Suck
I'm not talking about babies, I'm talking about kids. Like, say, from about eleven to - well I wouldn't know, infinity.
Yes yes in the Parents' Handbook I've mentally written it says in CAPS - DO NOT PHONE THEM. THEY MUST PHONE YOU.
But sometimes I have a little time to stretch out and sip a diet gingerale and I think, hey, I wonder how so and so (22 and loves me) is doing. Or else, hey, I wonder if so and so (20 - "I love you but you drive me crazy") is doing. And I make the mistake of placing the call.
When you call them they are always busy. Always. They might talk to you for a minute or two but in the background you can hear their thumbs working away at text messaging, or their computer keys being hit, or whatever goddam gadget they've got going this week. And whatever you say to them the response is the same. "What?"
A kid never hears a parent the first time. That's in THEIR handbook.
Since the 'little one' has strep throat (I discovered yesterday) she won't talk to me. I called today to see if she's feeling better. "Yes." "Oh I'm so glad honey. So you saw the doctor and got something for it?" "Yes. I can't talk now I have to go back to sleep." Understandable.
The other one is at Anime North. This is the highlight of her life. I know this fact but I thought maybe a little call? "Hi honey!" "I'm busy." "Well, I know, but are you having fun?" "Yes, I'm busy having fun. Goodbye."
Okay, fair enough, who wants to talk to their mother when they're at Animé North?
I should count my blessings. Neither of them told me to "Fuck off" and they don't do a lot of drugs or have a lot of sexual partners. They're both in college or university. They're great, actually, they just suck when it comes to me. Is that normal? I think it might be.
Bah. I think I'll go find Felix and pester him. He'll listen to me. He says he enjoys my 'chatter.' I choose to take that as English talk for 'intelligent conversation.'
Ta!
ps - I needed a new post, and this is it. Another time, perhaps we'll talk about how kids feel about having an erotica author as a mother . . . "luv the trophy Mom, can I take it to show and tell?"
Yes yes in the Parents' Handbook I've mentally written it says in CAPS - DO NOT PHONE THEM. THEY MUST PHONE YOU.
But sometimes I have a little time to stretch out and sip a diet gingerale and I think, hey, I wonder how so and so (22 and loves me) is doing. Or else, hey, I wonder if so and so (20 - "I love you but you drive me crazy") is doing. And I make the mistake of placing the call.
When you call them they are always busy. Always. They might talk to you for a minute or two but in the background you can hear their thumbs working away at text messaging, or their computer keys being hit, or whatever goddam gadget they've got going this week. And whatever you say to them the response is the same. "What?"
A kid never hears a parent the first time. That's in THEIR handbook.
Since the 'little one' has strep throat (I discovered yesterday) she won't talk to me. I called today to see if she's feeling better. "Yes." "Oh I'm so glad honey. So you saw the doctor and got something for it?" "Yes. I can't talk now I have to go back to sleep." Understandable.
The other one is at Anime North. This is the highlight of her life. I know this fact but I thought maybe a little call? "Hi honey!" "I'm busy." "Well, I know, but are you having fun?" "Yes, I'm busy having fun. Goodbye."
Okay, fair enough, who wants to talk to their mother when they're at Animé North?
I should count my blessings. Neither of them told me to "Fuck off" and they don't do a lot of drugs or have a lot of sexual partners. They're both in college or university. They're great, actually, they just suck when it comes to me. Is that normal? I think it might be.
Bah. I think I'll go find Felix and pester him. He'll listen to me. He says he enjoys my 'chatter.' I choose to take that as English talk for 'intelligent conversation.'
Ta!
ps - I needed a new post, and this is it. Another time, perhaps we'll talk about how kids feel about having an erotica author as a mother . . . "luv the trophy Mom, can I take it to show and tell?"
Saturday, 21 May 2011
Erotic Awards 2011 Story Teller of the Year
Yes folks, Madeline Moore is Storyteller of the year. I just found out so I feel weird. Here's a picture of my trophy.
Hand made in Bali, in case you were wondering how such a delightful thing comes to be. It will look lovely in my trophy case (formerly known as the bookshelf.)
Thank you Erotic Awards 2011 judges! Thank you for representing me, Kristina Lloyd! Thank you Logical Lust publisher Jim Brown and editor Jolie du Pre, for The Cougar Book, in which my story "Get Up! Stand Up!" was published.
I think a taste of the story is in order. It takes place in Quebec. Annie is a physiotherapist who has just convinced a young protester to come down from a tree that will be demolished the next day. Her plan was to get him walking and send him home but the chemistry between them is irresistible. This is near the beginning of the story, when she has just arrived home with a filthy, limping (but legal!) young man:
The story is that when Cher laid eyes on Rob the bagel boy she said, “Have him washed and brought to my tent.” I knew that was what I was doing but I was still pretending my motives were pure.
“Straighten your legs,” I ordered when I was back in the bathroom. “Yum Yum,” sang my body in response to the sight of him stretched out in my tub. “Young, young, yum, yum.” I averted my eyes.
“Can’t. It hurts.”
“Do your best. Now flex your toes. Can you feel it in your calves?”
“Sorta.”
“Do five flex and relax reps. Ready? One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Relax.”
“You have a beautiful voice.”
“Merci. Again. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. And relax.”
“Will I walk again?”
“Yes.”
“Will I play the piano?”
I laughed. “No.”
“I’m clean now,” he said. “Get in.”
“You think?” I looked at him. His cock waved a solid, friendly hello. The sight of that majestic hard on struck me dumb.
We exchanged a long look. Mine said, “I’m almost fifty, cheri,” and his said, “De rien.”
So I dropped my button-through dress. I was wearing a black satin push up bra and thong (sixty year old men love a thong on any woman’s body, even a perimenopausal one) and lacy stay-ups that were riddled with runs from my trip into the forest.
“Oo la la,” said Guy. His cock got bigger; the head got thicker and started turning purple.
Desire hit my crotch so hard it hurt, like a cramp in my clit.
“I haven’t even touched you,” I whispered. I was awestruck. Honestly I hadn’t seen a cock that big and hard and blatantly horny since I quit trolling the gay porn sites. As for the real thing?
Years, baby.
“You have a beautiful voice,” he said. “And a bootylicious body.” He licked his lips.
I stripped off my bra and panties and stepped into the tub, positioning one foot on each side of his slender boy hips. Then I simply lowered myself onto that magnificent member. I didn’t even spread my labia with my fingers, instead letting the heat-seeking head of his dick shove them aside to find my seriously aching hole.
“Christ,” I muttered as it stretched happily to accommodate him.
Water hit the back of my head and poured over us both.
“Oui,” (Wah) he said. He sighed like an old man, long and slow, and closed his eyes.
I kept mine open, watching the guileless grin that spread across his face as I slipped down another inch onto him, and another, until he was fully inside of me, encased by the hot satin walls of my cunt. My lips and clit nestled in his straight black pubic hair.
He humped up.
I gasped like a girl.
He did it again. Again. Again.
I started trembling all over. Usually I need a little help to make it all the way to euphoria, by which I mean wine as well as foreplay, but not this time. I was about to start howling and even the sight of my belly wrinkling between my navel and my pubic hair didn’t phase me.
“Fuck it,” I hissed. I leaned forward a little, so the head of his cock rubbed my g-spot.
His eyes opened. “Cool,” he said. He cupped my breasts, thumbing my nipples.
“How long can you fuck like this?”
He shrugged. “Forever, if you like.” He humped up again.
I made a strangled little noise.
Guy let his right hand trail down between my breasts, over my belly, to my mound. Again, his touch was gentle. He used his thumb to make lazy little circles around and over my clit. “Or we can come now and then come again later and then come again later and…”
“Uh huh.” I was nodding in slavish agreement. I shifted to a kneel.
Guy guided my head to his. Our mouths met in a sloppy kiss, sloppy because we were eager and the shower made it hard to breathe, not sloppy because he was inexperienced or demanding. He pressed my head to his skinny chest and he fucked and fingered me until I really did start howling and shaking and grinding and coming like I hadn’t had an orgasm in years. I was scared I might squeeze him right out of me with the force of my clenching contractions, but he was as solid as ever inside me.
“Stop!” I tried to wriggle free. “I can’t stand it!”
“Sure you can, cheri,” he murmured. He just kept on going, fingering and fucking me as if I hadn’t just come, until I did it again, as hard and long as the first time.
I lay plastered against his chest, half-delirious with delight. “You come!”
“I did,” he said.
“So quiet,” I marvelled. “And gentle. And patient.”
“I have to be these things,” he replied.
I climbed off him and out of the tub with as much grace as I could muster. Then I helped him out and wrapped him in a bath sheet. We were both a little unsteady.
“Why?”
“Hmm?” He leaned on me. He looked exhausted.
I leaned back. “Why do you have to be quiet and gentle and patient?”
He looked at me with the sad eyes of a weary warrior. “I think it’s going to take a long time to save the planet.”
xoxo Madeline
Monday, 16 May 2011
Eye Candy Monday
There's less than a week to go until the Erotic 2011 Awards will take place. As you may know, I am a finalist in the Awards. After the Awards Ceremony, there'll be what sounds like one helluva party, called Night of the Senses.
This is a charity award, for a group called Outsiders which welcomes people with physical and social disabilities to join their club, make new friends and, if they wish, find partners.
I'm nominated in the "Story Tellers" category. My story, "Get Up! Stand Up!" is in The Cougar Book, edited by Jolie du Pre and published by Logical Lust.
The story is about a perimenopausal woman who talks an environmentalist out of a tree and into her bed. Annie, a physiotherapist, wasn't planning to have sex with him, she just planned to get the poor kid walking again, maybe buy him a burger and a bus ticket home. But -
Annie describes him like so:
Long dark hair, lanky body all scrunched up. A wistful face, as the young so often have, pale, unlined, sharp cheek bones and a soft, sensuous mouth. Big baby blues, baby.
Something like this, I imagine:
Who could resist? Not my heroine, Annie. And so to bed for some red hot never stop fuck me till I die sex.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!
xoxo Madeline Moore
ps - This is a picture of Jesse McCartney, about whom I know nothing except that he's 24 years old and so adorable I wouldn't blame any older woman if she decided, "Screw it I'm gonna fuck this young man." Would you?
This is a charity award, for a group called Outsiders which welcomes people with physical and social disabilities to join their club, make new friends and, if they wish, find partners.
I'm nominated in the "Story Tellers" category. My story, "Get Up! Stand Up!" is in The Cougar Book, edited by Jolie du Pre and published by Logical Lust.
The story is about a perimenopausal woman who talks an environmentalist out of a tree and into her bed. Annie, a physiotherapist, wasn't planning to have sex with him, she just planned to get the poor kid walking again, maybe buy him a burger and a bus ticket home. But -
Annie describes him like so:
Long dark hair, lanky body all scrunched up. A wistful face, as the young so often have, pale, unlined, sharp cheek bones and a soft, sensuous mouth. Big baby blues, baby.
Something like this, I imagine:
Who could resist? Not my heroine, Annie. And so to bed for some red hot never stop fuck me till I die sex.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!
xoxo Madeline Moore
ps - This is a picture of Jesse McCartney, about whom I know nothing except that he's 24 years old and so adorable I wouldn't blame any older woman if she decided, "Screw it I'm gonna fuck this young man." Would you?
Monday, 9 May 2011
Eye Candy Monday - Ophelia Bitz
This is Ophelia Bitz, and if she isn't a combo of sexy and sweet then I don't know my eye candy. And I think I do.
She's a finalist in the "Performers" category at the Erotic Awards 2011.
I won't be seeing her, even though I've been nominated in the 'Story Tellers' category, because I live in Canada and I haven't the dollars, pounds or euros to make the trip. So it will be up to my (perfectly chosen, if you ask me) representative to see Ophelia and all the other nominees on Awards Night. Kristina Lloyd, will you please please have lots and lots of fun for me at the Erotic 2011 awards and if at all possible, bring me back a flying penis?
She's a finalist in the "Performers" category at the Erotic Awards 2011.
I won't be seeing her, even though I've been nominated in the 'Story Tellers' category, because I live in Canada and I haven't the dollars, pounds or euros to make the trip. So it will be up to my (perfectly chosen, if you ask me) representative to see Ophelia and all the other nominees on Awards Night. Kristina Lloyd, will you please please have lots and lots of fun for me at the Erotic 2011 awards and if at all possible, bring me back a flying penis?
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
Erotic Awards 2011
Yes, "Get Up! Stand Up!" my first foray into the world of e-publishing, is not only in The Cougar Book, which is is a finalist for an EPIC 2011 ebook award,but is also a finalist in the Erotic Awards 2011.
The awards presentation will be followed by a wild and decadent "Night of the Senses" that sounds absolutely incredible.
Sadly I won't be able to attend. Hopefully, should I win, my flying penis will wing its way across the pond and into my waiting arms. I'm lining up my peeps to represent me and working feverishly on a short, sex-positive speech.
This is a charity event in aid of an organization called Outsiders, which works together with other groups to address the isolation faced by many disabled people, and to campaign for the acceptance of disabled people as sexual partners.
Because every adult deserves to have sex, don't you think? Well I sure do and I'm proud of me and my story, win or lose, for being part of something so meaningful and exciting.
Wish me luck! And let's all hope the event is a smashing success!
xoxo Mad
The awards presentation will be followed by a wild and decadent "Night of the Senses" that sounds absolutely incredible.
Sadly I won't be able to attend. Hopefully, should I win, my flying penis will wing its way across the pond and into my waiting arms. I'm lining up my peeps to represent me and working feverishly on a short, sex-positive speech.
This is a charity event in aid of an organization called Outsiders, which works together with other groups to address the isolation faced by many disabled people, and to campaign for the acceptance of disabled people as sexual partners.
Because every adult deserves to have sex, don't you think? Well I sure do and I'm proud of me and my story, win or lose, for being part of something so meaningful and exciting.
Wish me luck! And let's all hope the event is a smashing success!
xoxo Mad
Labels:
Erotic Awards 2011,
Get Up,
Get Up Stand Up,
The Cougar Book
Sunday, 24 April 2011
Friday, 22 April 2011
Fabulous News about to be Announced
Argh. I want to tell you my fabulous news but Felix, who is more experienced in these things, says I must wait for the official announcement which is yet to come.
So I can't tell you my fabulous news.
Which leaves me with little to say on this Friday blog except -
I don't think I'm going to promise to blog faithfully every Sunday and Thursday anymore.
I think I'll blog when I have something to say.
So, until I have something to say, kisskiss from Madeline Moore
So I can't tell you my fabulous news.
Which leaves me with little to say on this Friday blog except -
I don't think I'm going to promise to blog faithfully every Sunday and Thursday anymore.
I think I'll blog when I have something to say.
So, until I have something to say, kisskiss from Madeline Moore
Monday, 18 April 2011
Thursday, 14 April 2011
Art and Age
It's good to be past the getting married, having kids, getting divorced part of my life. I think it gives me an advantage because the younger female authors still have to do all of that. Plus they get pms.
Unfortunately, getting older means being tired and paying for all those hilarious tumbles down hills (the ones we thought we'd survived unscathed that come back to scathe us later) and dancing all night in high heels. Smoking way too many cigarettes. Sockin' back the brewskies.
Being tired.
So, good night children! I'll make you a deal: Don't forget Grandma Moses and neither will I.
Monday, 11 April 2011
Eye Candy Monday
Gorgeous and young - go for it, eye candy couple. You know you want it.
xoxo Mad
photo from musetracks.wordpress.com
Friday, 8 April 2011
Swanning
Oops, I forgot about my Thursday post. Sorry, folks. I hope you didn't miss your Madeline Moore Thursday fix too greatly.
I'll tell you a funny story. I was swanning about because on the back cover of The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica 10 the editor, Maxim Jakubowski says the stories in the book are by "The Year's Best Erotica From The World's Leading Authors" and I'm one of the six authors he listed on the back cover.
Madeline Moore, therefore, is one of the world's leading writers of erotica.
Then Felix checked his email. In it, there was a request from Maxim for a story of Felix's that he'd published in an earlier edition of the series.
It seems Maxim's putting together an anthology of The Best of the Best of the Mammoth Book of Erotica.
I should post a picture like this:
But Felix, of course, doesn't swan and I don't feel generous; I feel I've been demoted and rather quickly, too. So, today there is a dearth of swans in my pond.
Monday, 4 April 2011
Eye Candy Monday
Today is Felix's birthday and I have eyes only for him.
Felix is my hero.
Here he is, in the Dominican Republic:
Here am I in the Dominican Republic:
Yes, it's true, we're nekkid! We were nekkid in the Dominican
and we are nekkid right now.
So:
xoxo Madeline
ps - may your hero or your heroine find you and love you forever.
Life is better that way.
Felix is my hero.
Here he is, in the Dominican Republic:
Here am I in the Dominican Republic:
Yes, it's true, we're nekkid! We were nekkid in the Dominican
and we are nekkid right now.
So:
Do Not Disturb.
xoxo Madeline
ps - may your hero or your heroine find you and love you forever.
Life is better that way.
Wednesday, 30 March 2011
The Teacher in Me
As Madeline Moore I teach erotica (to one student.) But under my real name,
Laurie Clayton, I teach a whole bunch of people how to improve their writing skills. I've been doing this for just over one year.
I love my job. I'm paid by the unit so I'm not making as much per hour as I could be if I weren't so painstakingly particular about each assignment. I do hope to speed it up a little as time passes, but I want these people to get the best I can possibly offer.
The first time a student of mine sold a story I think I was just as excited as she was. We did it!
One woman with a big time business resume of her own challenged my credentials to teach her. I sent her my complete resume and a letter. She decided to stick with me as her tutor.
Recently a new student, a man, submitted a piece of work that took me 5 hours to critique. He also showed an awful lot of attitude in his comments.
A few emails (sent back and forth via the school) tested my ability to tame the beast. Tame him I did.
He always expresses his gratitude, now, in every single assignment I receive.
Recently he asked if I'd like a copy of his first published non-fiction book.
What? That's right. He's been published, not self-published, and the book has been receiving great reviews.
People are strange, aren't they? Wouldn't you think an egocentric fellow who is testing the fortitude of his tutor might've mentioned he's already a published author?
The hard part of being a tutor is dealing with students whose first language is not English and think that studying creative writing will help them learn the language. It really doesn't work.
There are also students who will never write well enough to be published. I help them as best I can but, sooner rather than later, they disappear. Perhaps it's just as well to give it a try and find out the truth, but as we all know, the truth hurts.
I teach every genre offered by the school except "business writing." I was hired when two tutors retired in rapid succession, so I inherited a number of students who had already completed most of the course they were taking.
One such student was a woman who was writing her memoirs. After a couple of units she confessed that, unlike me, her previous tutor hadn't offered much guidance, mainly commenting, "Good work. I look forward to your next unit." Well, I suppose when one is ready to retire one isn't labouring over each student's story. I was happy that my student was happy. After all, it's not like I ever studied "how to write memoirs." It was new to me, too.
Obviously I'm not going to tell you her life story, but there was a particularly poignant episode in her youth that I felt she'd glossed over. Perhaps because it was painful to write about. I made a few suggestions that she followed and the result really was a dynamic piece of work.
For the final two units I offered to do a proofread/edit of the entire piece.
She sent it to me in one unit and I returned it, ready for (self) publication. We'd agreed that she'd post once more, even though the work was finished, so that I would be paid in full.
Time passed. I didn't hear from her. I wondered if she'd forgotten our arrangement, but since she wouldn't receive her certificate of graduation from the school until all units were completed, it seemed odd that she'd neglected to upload that final post.
Then it arrived. She'd waited until the book was printed and distributed to her family members before writing to tell me how well-received it had been. The gratitude she expressed at the way I'd helped her shape her story into something meaningful was so sweet, so sincere, so passionately heartfelt that I almost cried.
I love being a writer. My own writing has improved since I've become a teacher. At first, I feared I hadn't the knowledge necessary to instruct people on how to write. But I do. I love being a tutor.
My gratitude to the college for accepting me as a tutor is passionately heartfelt, too.
Thank you, Winghill
You have changed the way I see myself.
You have changed my life.
Love, Madeline
Monday, 28 March 2011
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Madeline Takes You to the Movies
This was the beginning of the movies:
In 1878 Eadweard Muybridge was challenged to prove that while galloping, a horse's four legs would all be in the air at the same time. He did so, with
a bunch of cameras, trip wire and the lovely thoroughbred, Sallie Gardener.
This is also the beginning of the screenwriting course that I'll be teaching soon. Ain't it cool?
Here's his next photographic esssay: Woman Dropping Handkerchief
Here's Another: Men Wrestling:
It didn't take movies very long to feature naked folk, did it?
I like that about the cinema.
xoxo Mad
ps - In 1874, still living in the San Francisco Bay Area, Muybridge discovered that his wife had a lover, a Major Harry Larkyns. On October 17, 1874, he sought out Larkyns; said, "Good evening, Major, my name is Muybridge and here is the answer to the letter you sent my wife"; and shot and killed him. He was put on trial for the killing, but acquitted of the killing on the grounds that it was "justifiable homicide."
What a guy!
In 1878 Eadweard Muybridge was challenged to prove that while galloping, a horse's four legs would all be in the air at the same time. He did so, with
a bunch of cameras, trip wire and the lovely thoroughbred, Sallie Gardener.
This is also the beginning of the screenwriting course that I'll be teaching soon. Ain't it cool?
Here's his next photographic esssay: Woman Dropping Handkerchief
Here's Another: Men Wrestling:
It didn't take movies very long to feature naked folk, did it?
I like that about the cinema.
xoxo Mad
ps - In 1874, still living in the San Francisco Bay Area, Muybridge discovered that his wife had a lover, a Major Harry Larkyns. On October 17, 1874, he sought out Larkyns; said, "Good evening, Major, my name is Muybridge and here is the answer to the letter you sent my wife"; and shot and killed him. He was put on trial for the killing, but acquitted of the killing on the grounds that it was "justifiable homicide."
What a guy!
Labels:
Eadweard Muybridge,
Madeline Moore,
Sallie Gardener
Monday, 21 March 2011
Eye Candy Monday
I like dirty guys
.
I like them to get nice and clean so . . .
. . . they can get dirty again. How about you?
xoxo Mad
.
I like them to get nice and clean so . . .
. . . they can get dirty again. How about you?
xoxo Mad
Thursday, 17 March 2011
Look At Me!
Remember this?
When he turned sixty they said, "He's not sixty years old, he's three twenty year olds."
Judging from the way he rocked it baby at the Grammys last week, I'm inclined to agree.And then there are those memories, the ones many of us have, that we each think are ours alone.
Bad Boy
Baby boy
My boy (Hey, I know how to share!)
When he turned sixty they said, "He's not sixty years old, he's three twenty year olds."
Judging from the way he rocked it baby at the Grammys last week, I'm inclined to agree.And then there are those memories, the ones many of us have, that we each think are ours alone.
Bad Boy
Baby boy
My boy (Hey, I know how to share!)
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