Sorry I haven't been blogging (or writing) all that much, but I've been too busy taking advantage of all the free stuff my new friends have been offering me. Yeah, that's right! I have a tonne of new friends! Their names are a little strange - like - Xcite2nite and madelinemoorewhatastupidfaceyouhave (that one's more of an acquaintance) and lose20poundsovernite - but I've lived in Thailand so I don't consider odd sounding names a detriment to friendship. It's very likely that MR OBJANA MARINATES (this African guy who is sharing a huge amount of $$ with me after a rich guy's plane went down five years ago and no heirs claimed the rich guy's bank account) finds the name Madeline Moore rather odd sounding. I just hope he can follow the banking information I sent him - I'd hate to lose out on all that money because he couldn't decipher my transit numbers.
Anyway, I'm wondering if anyone wants a laptop for Christmas because I'm basically getting one free laptop a day! Which is so weird because I was moaning about not having one - every female writer should have a laptop and write in bed, I happen to think - and then all these offers started coming in. So - at last count I should be expecting about a dozen, any day now. Even for a serious writer like myself, that's a lot of laptops, so once they've all arrived and I've chosen the ones I want to keep, I'll give away the rest! Why not? I'm going to have a plethora of pentel. An overabundance of gigabytes! A cornucopia of pixels. Yay!
You might not recognize me soon because yes, I'm going to LOSE 20 POUNDS OVERNITE as soon as my FREE TRIAL arrives, and I'm receiving more than one free trial.
I think a few days will do it, and if there's any of the stuff left over I'll share it with you, too. I can't wait to be as slender as my favourite model - and without all that messy white powder, too. Isn 't the world wide web a wonderful thing? Who'd have thought, even a few years ago, that a person could lose 20 pounds overnight? It's like a miracle.
Don't think just because I'm going to be gorgeous and rich soon that I'll be lazy, either. I have a new at home job where I'm GUARANTEED to make $2,000 a day! I'm still fuzzy on the details but now that I've signed the contract I'm sure I'll get an information package that explains everything.
I don't even want to mention how huge my penis will be by the end of the summer....and I don't even have one right now!
WOW!
