About Me

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Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Wild Card, 2006. Winner of "best oral sex scene" - Scarlet Magazine. Amanda's Young Men, 2009. Excerpted in Scarlet Magazine; Juicy Bits. Sarah's Education, 2009. Hit the #1 spots on Amazon.co.uk adult fiction & adult romance best seller lists. Jade Magazine bestowed the best cover art, 2009 award on Sarah's Education. "Get Up, Stand Up!" which appeared in The Cougar Book (Logical-Lust) won me the title 'Story Teller of the Year 2011' at The Erotic Awards, London, UK. Sarah's Education took the #3 spot on a list of the 30 most titillating titles of all time, as reported in English Daily Mail ;Female; Nov. 12, 2012. Debutante, a petite novel for e-publisher Imprint Mischief, (Harper-Collins) pubbed in 2012. I tutor writing students and am a member of the WGC. D.M. Thomas said: Madeline Moore writes great sex without metaphor and that's not easy to do. Kris Saknussemm said: You're a good egg, Madeline Moore. I am a good egg who writes great sex without metaphor! Yippee!

Thursday, 14 October 2010

I'm a Praun!

Argh. Did you see District 9?
I hope you weren't trying to eat while you watched it, which I, briefly, was.
I stuck with it though, and I'm glad, because now I'm becoming a PRAUN and if I hadn't seen the movie I wouldn't know what was going on.

It would be good to do links and pictures and stuff but I can't, really, because my PRAUN HANDS are very poor at fine motor skills. Good thing I practised working with my feet when I was a kid (just in case I lost my arms in an accident - so you see what kind of girl I was) because soon I'll be typing with my toes.

Okay (which is how OK is spelled, in case you folks in the UK were wondering) here's what's happened. My forearms, from my elbows to my wrists, and on the right, up through two fingers, were going numb. Yikes. I NEED those arms.

It got so bad I saw my doctor, who referred me to a neurosurgeon. OMG. I do not want neurosurgery. I was honestly afraid, because typing is a part of my writing process. I do not believe I could write by speaking into a microphone, although I suppose I should try, some day . . .

See they move the nerve from one side of the elbow to the other and - ahhHHHHhhhhHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOO!

Okay so the neurosurgeon had good news All I have to do is wear a wrist brace on each arm, as much as possible, for the foreseeable future. Not only will the beginnings of carpal tunnel syndrome be arrested, but I will repair any damage has already been done! Man was I relieved. The test was sort of painful, in an electroshock sorta way. When I yelled, "I give up! I'll tell you everything I know!" he muttered, 'Writers.' hoho. I shoulda muttered, 'Neurosurgeons' but I didn't. I was being a good patient.

So good news. Plus, I ran my 'I put my hand cream in the fridge yesterday, does that mean I have early onset Altzheimer's?' fears by him and he said no.
He told me a few funny personal anecdotes - his sister once dusted his brother's room with Raid instead of Pledge. So double good news.

I bought the two braces, with steel running down the top and bottom, Velcro, straps, you probably know what they look like. IF not, use your imagination.

Well, after I tried them out I called the maker to find out what the materials that make up the braces are, cause I was itchy. I wondered, wool?
The helpful fellow I talked to said No. I kept pestering him about how
itchy the braces were. Finally he suggested I go to the pharmacy (chemist, for the Brits) and get a sleeve. Apparently they make a sleeve to go under these braces. Gee, what a good idea. I told him so. We hung up.

SO now I can rinse out my extra sleeves and have fresh ones for every sweaty,
WTF long night-of-the-brace. Yikes. The darn things are working tho! I have feeling in the two numb fingers, for the first time in - well - awhile.

But not much fine motor ability. Yet.

And I feel like a Praun. I want to feel like Rosario Dawson (I think) in 'Crash' (Cronenberg's movie, not the new one that won the Oscar.) but I don't. I feel like a Praun.

Not to worry tho. Until I start eating the cat food.

xoxo Mad.

There are no pictures or links to this post. This is a do it yourself post.

ps - I really loved 'District Nine.' Talk about yer unusual buddy pic!!