It's an application on Facebook that allows me to work a virtual farm. I was introduced to it by my hip filmmaker best friend. (She's from Saskatchewan.)
We send each other cows as gifts and plant wheat and milk cows and everything.
Before you judge me too harshly, consider this: Lucy Felthouse and Emily Dubberley are my Farmville neighbours.
Recently I joined Yoville, which is life in the city. It doesn't grab me the way Farmville does, but it did get me thinkin' - where would I really like to live?
The answer? I want to live in Hunky Town.
In Hunky Town all the guys are, you guessed it, hunks. And they all walk around naked, or in low-slung jeans, because they are all exhibitionists.
A typical day for Maddie, which would be, ahem, me, would unfold something like this:
First, I need to know what day it is. So I check my calendar.
Oh my! Is it Man Candy Monday already? I should post something...although if it's Monday in Hunky Town, isn't it already Tuesday in the UK? I check out Janine Ashbless's blog and of course Cover Watch, the instigator of Man Candy Monday. Yum.
(But don't you check 'em out quite yet, okay? First finish my post and leave a comment. You won't win a book but you'll make me happy.)
Next, I need that morning cup of java. So I visit my favourite cafe. Hi guys!
Yes, I'd like some creamy froth on my cappucino, if you'd be so kind.
Now that's what I call an eye-opener.
What to do today in Hunky Town. Perhaps a yoga class. It's good to stay supple in Hunky Town.
I don't drive because I'd miss too much sightseeing that way.
So, after yoga, I walk through town to my next stop.
In Hunky Town, it's the gals who whistle at the guys, and all the hunky guys love to be looked at and appreciated, so it's not considered sexist. I whistle at these guys:
but I save my longest, lowest wolf bitch whistle for this one:
Did I mention that in Hunky Town I don't work? I don't even write. But I do good deeds. My latest cause is a plan to bring sexy back. Here's my poster boy:
Oh what a sexy back! (In Hunky Town, all such dumb ass puns are considered hilarious.)
I visit a Domina friend, who has another idea for my campaign. Ooooh. I likes it. Well done, Domina!
My busy day is far from over. It's time to hit the clubs!
Silly naked club guy. You make me laugh. HAHAHAHAHA.
But I have a far better naked guy waiting for me at home.
Once I'm all stretched out in my bed, artfully draped with diaphanous silk, with a resemblance to Heidi Klum that is, I think you'll agree, startling, I call him out of the shadows.
'Come to bed, handsome young naked guy with bulging pecs and lots of underarm hair.'
Oh. You want a picture of him? You'll have to head over to Cover Watch for that, because I can't top their Man Candy Monday.
And so off to sleep. I'll need my beauty rest, even though I already look like Heidi, because every day is a busy day when you live in Hunky Town.
