The Soft Swears

Once upon a time I had a great big house with a great big lawn and a lot of stuff.
The whole place was carpeted, even the bathrooms and, gack, the kitchen. So, my then husband and I decided to renovate.

First, the carpet and subfloor in the kitchen had to be removed. We hired a big guy to do that job.

It was a hot summer day. I hid up in my bedroom because, while in fantasyland having a big sweaty workman in the house and hubby nowhere in site is a good thing, in my real, pre-erotica writing days, the dude gave me the creeps.

Oh how he worked! Great heaving sounds emanated from below, punctuated with exclamations like, 'Shit!' and 'Fuck! and 'Christ!' and 'Goddam!' and 'Piss!'

Finally, all was silent. I ventured downstairs to survey the scene. Yes, the subfloor was up. Yes, the big workman was mopping his brow.

'Tough job,' he said.

'I could tell,' I said.

He looked at me, surprise etched on his big man face. 'I was only using the soft swears,' he replied.

Hmmm. Made me wonder. What are the hard swears?