Autoerotobloggerism

I will post every Monday and Thursday. I will keep doing this, regularly, so my readers may be sure that if they come to my blog on Monday or Thursday, there will be something new here for them to read. On Monday, they are guaranteed pretty pictures of sexy people. On Thursday, they will also get pictures but they are not guaranteed to be pretty pictures of sexy people.
They could be weird, like this:

I think that I shall never see
a poem as sexy as this tree

The picture may mean nothing to anyone but me, which would be unlikely to happen, because what is the point of posting a picture that means nothing to anyone but me? Unless I suspect that, with Janine Ashbless out of town, no one is going to comment on my blog anyway? Then I might post something like this, which is a statue, I guess you would call it, of a muskie, which is a fish you can catch in the lovely waters of Kenora, Ontario.

I like funny pictures too, like this one. Except maybe it's only funny because he's a large man. Or is it funny just because he's a man?
Which reminds me of an amusing anecdote. I was going to a fetish club with my then-husband and I was a tad nervous because I hadn't been to one before. I said to him, as we were entering the club, "Well, I look better than she does, anyway," and he sighed and said, "That's a man."


Hey that reminds me. I've been saving a picture for some time now, saving it for the perfect Thursday post, and I think this is the one. Enjoy, dear Madeline Moore blog fans. Please, don't feel that you need to take the two minutes to post a comment so I know I'm not blogging to myself. Really.
I get great pleasure from autoerotobloggerism. Really I do.

Eye Candy Monday

Breath Play - Nasty or Nice.

Does the idea make your heart beat faster because you think you might like it
or because you want to run run run away from the very idea?

Breath Play - It can leave you breathless.

Contest Time!

Guess who decided to buy my cougar novel? Yes, those kinky Germans, already avid readers of Lust - Poker and Lektionen will soon be able to order - um - Amanda's Junger Manner or something like that.

Here's a young German hunk:
His name is Kamil Bak.






Want to see his face?
Are you sure?
Okay.

Pardon me. That's not his face. That's him looking down at his torn tee shirt. Oh me oh my. I wonder if Amanda tore it off him?

Here's a picture of his face. I wonder if his name changes to Kamil Front.
HA HA!





Here's a fun little contest.
Guess what Amanda's Young Men will be titled in German and if you guess correctly, I'll send you a copy of Lust-Poker and a copy of Lektionen.


Lord knows, I've got quite a few of them kicking around.

Viel Gluck.

xoxo Mad

ps - I don't know how to umlaut on Blogger, so sue me.

A Valentine for . . . Charlie Sheen

This is a special edition of Eye Candy Monday. Not all the pictures are pretty.

Remember, Charlie, when you smiled like this?

But you don't smile that way any more. For quite some time, shots of Charlie Sheen show a grim guy wearing a hat and shades.

Word is, you're thinking of getting gold teeth. For fun? Well, maybe . . .
or maybe it's because when you do smile, showing your teeth, you look like this:

Readers may ask why I send a Valentine to a guy who hits women.

This guy has hit women:

I think drugs and alcohol had a lot (I'm not saying everything) to do with why he did. And why you do.
Eminem had the guts to record a song, with Rihanna, called "Love the Way You Lie," that actually examines violence against women. It isn't really as simple an issue as we thought it was. I learned this from an abused wife I tried to help. Now, we've all learned it, from Eminem and Rihanna.

But he had to get better to make an album like Recovery. (Winner of the 2011 Grammy for best Rap Album of the Year)

You're in rehab now, Charlie. You could recover. Here's a guy who looked like he was down for the count, not all that long ago. This is Robert Downey, Jr.'s mug shot. He went to rehab and paid attention. And he did it. Day by day, for ten years now, he has stayed away from the same demons that are killing you.

Now he looks like this.

Charlie, you are the highest paid actor on TV and the star of a hit comedy show, Two and a Half Men that is now in its eighth season. You're number one, man. Except today the last episode that's been shot will air, after which the show goes "on hiatus." It's all up to you, now.
Please get better.

I'm not afraid. To take a stand.
Everybody, come take my hand.
We'll walk this road together.

- Not afraid, from Recovery, by Eminem.

Charlie Sheen, you are not alone.

Love, Madeline

addendum: this just in: Charlie acts weird on sports radio.

My Convo with the Chicken Soup Guy

My eye cream has been gently massaged around the eye area and I've let Leo Van Meow Meow go out on the balcony so he can see that the weather has not changed much since this morning. I've set up the heater in front of the expensive chapel chair that is now his and I've bid him a fond good night.

It's time to join Felix, already fast asleep in our comfy King size bed. Soon I shall slip into that state of bliss we call sleep, content with what I have accomplished on this uneventful but not unpleasant Wednesday -

Wednesday? Why, that means I'm supposed to have a new post up tomorrow. I faithfully promised my fans new posts on Monday and Thursday. It's already g.d. Thursday in the UK, where both of them live. Oh fer the love of Mike!

Power up, oh keeper of promises. Draw from the mighty imagination that has conjured up three entire erotica novels and countless, that is if you count on your fingers and toes, sexy short stories. Write something and throw in some pictures and go to bed. It can't be all that hard . . . can it?

Can - didn't I have an idea earlier in the week - something about a can - a can of soup - a can of chicken soup? I did. I do. I remember now!

My Correspondence with the webmaster for Chicken Soup for the Soul

Subject: Submissions: Hello Chicken Soup. Your Submission Guidelines neglect to indicate the amount you pay for the stories you include in your books. Please tell me: What do you pay? Warmest Regards, Madeline Moore

The reply:RE:Submissions Dear Madeline: Thank you for your inquiry. If your story is selected for publication in one of our Chicken Soup for the Soul books then you will receive a one-time fee of $200 and ten free copies of the book your story appears in (worth more than $100) for the rights to print your story. This information is included on our website. We look forward to getting some submissions from you. Sincerely, Chicken Soup for the Soul

Hmmm. I go to Amazon and try to count the number of Chicken Soup books. I quit counting at two hundred. I get irritable. My reply:

I am afraid that a payment of two hundred dollars for inclusion in a franchise that is making millions for its editors would cause this writer's soul great pain.


I start thinking about this issue. After all, what does Reader's Digest pay its contributors? Well, while it still pays Americans real dollars, Canadians contributors are now paid with a subscription to the magazine.

I start checking out the authors with contributions in Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul. Some are: Ernest J. Gaines, Terry McMillan, Sue Grafton, Steve Allen, George Plimpton, and Ray Bradbury. I found Gloria Steinham's name as a contributor to another of the Chicken Soup books, I don't remember which one, but that was when I stopped searching authors and sent this reply to the webmaster:

On Second Thought: Me again. Having visited Amazon and admired the many, many pages of Chicken Soup anthologies, as well as noticing that Gloria Steinham has contributed to one of them, I have changed my mind. Perhaps what I should do, instead of whining at you, is purchase Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul. It isn't easy being a writer but it's harder to be a bitter writer than a hopeful one. I must try to stay on the hopeful side. In case I haven't made myself clear, I apologise for my response to your polite reply to my initial inquiry.

The final reply from the webmaster:
Hi Madeline Many people are interested in being included in one of our Chicken Soup for the Soul books. We get more than a few thousand story and poem submissions for each book title we publish. We do hope that, after reconsidering, you will submit your work to us. Chicken Soup for the Soul

So there you go. Of course now I'm trying to think up my own franchise. Something like Borscht for Bitter Bastards or Minestrone for the Miserable or Stone Soup for the Stoner or Lentil Soup for Losers but mostly, I'm just thinking I did the right thing. Do you?

Nightie night. Mad.