Ready For My Close Up

Me getting hand-blocked by Andrea Martin. I'm the blonde in the jean shirt.
At long last I have located the SCTV episode I appeared in. This cracks me up. We had video playback so I could see what was in frame. Notice how I manage to sliiiiide into view as much as possible.

Michael thought I should've been an actress. I think this confirms it. I'm a natural!

By the way, everyone in the arts in Edmonton was an extra on SCTV at one time or another. But not everyone got so much air time.

I appear at 13:00 and reappear throughout the "UNION" scene. Watch for my exit, stage left, at the end of the scene. If you listen hard, you'll hear me shout, "Let's go!"

I coulda bin somebody...

ME ON SCTV

MADELINE MOORE WINS A STRANDED SEVEN LIGHT SABRE AWARD

First annual Stranded Seven Lightsabers

Pink Light Sabre goes to: Madeline Moore "Class, femininity and a pleasure to read and flirt with."

Why thank you, Mr Stranded.

#STUMPCRYSTAL - Contest time!

@CrystalPenguin sez:

#STUMPCRYSTAL
Win a signed book by erotica author @MadelineMoore

We are looking for sexy questions that cannot be answered by googling (I don't wanna be accused of cheating)
Example:
"If you were w/ 5 men & they all wanted to penetrate you, how would you do it?"
@madelinemoore will be judging
@penguincrystal will be answering
Ask using the #StumpCrystal

Bookswill be sent anywhere in North America. But anyone may participate, what a gift for you favourite tweeter over the ocean!! Nov.30 we will choose a winner, so book may be received by XXXmas.

If you've read this far, please participate and retweet these instructions. I will be tweeting them once a day to try to get maximum penetration.
(Do I mean participation?) both are good.
Xxxo
CrYsTaL PeNgUiN
@penguincrystal, amateur attention whore and
@msmadelinemoore, professional attention whore.

#STUMPCRYSTAL

What the Actual F**k, Canada?

You know how you guys sometimes say, "What The Actual Fuck, Canada?"

Well, what the actual fuck, Canada.

Many of the the politicized people I follow on Twitter (whom I assumed were my like-minded peeps because of their outspoken views on the way Prime Minister Stephen Harper is destroying the environment of Canada) have revealed themselves to be conspiracy nuts with little attention paid to the facts. I've become the person with the facts. If my life as a social media pundit was doomed (and it was) my life as a political pundit is laughable at best.

But what the actual fuck, Canada?

I'm afraid the country is going to go all "Lady Di" on Nathan Cirillo's funeral. The family has been asked to have the funeral at the Colosseum in Toronto. We didn't even know he had a girlfriend until yesterday and have yet to see her or his 4 yr old son or either of his parents but they're being asked to throw a funeral in a stadium?

Harper is criticized for hiding in a closet in chambers when told there was a shooter in the house? This is normal, although maybe in other countries the hidey hole is less makeshift. And by the way, if he arranged this event to make our country into a police state, wouldn't he have made like a hero and grabbed a flag pole, too?

And if you're going to criticize the lack of security on Parliament Hill (which should be criticized) you cannot turn on a dime and accuse Harper of infringing on our rights. You can't ask Harper why the government knew that we'd been hiked up the ISIS list since joining our USA allies in strikes against it and did not act (a good question) and then accuse him of being a totalitarian when he seeks broader rights and increased policing powers.

It's Canada's turn to relinquish freedom for protection and we're perplexed. We want everyone to like us. Maybe we really are the tard little brother of the USA, a description I've kept to myself for many years.

Who the hell voted for Harper? This is his third term in office! Cut it out!

Right now, Stephen Harper is our leader. Pick your battles, peeps.

Canadians want to "get back to normal" but that can't happen until we're sure the threat from ISIS and Lone Wolf types inspired by ISIS is over and that time hasn't come yet. It may never come.

As well:
The vote for Toronto mayor takes place tomorrow (Monday.) Rob Ford is out (he has cancer, bad) but he's been replaced in the campaign by his brother Doug. So Doug Ford is running for major and might WIN the race.

Earlier today I was arguing on Twitter that Harper cannot, as the above pundits proclaim, dismantle the CBC. They say it will happen under Harper's watch and I tell them they're wrong. I worked at CBC Radio (regional and network) when the Corpse didn't have a building of its own. There were major attempts to destroy it back then. Now its got pride of place in downtown Toronto. Harper won't take it down. But . . . this afternoon we discovered . . .

Jian Ghomeshi, the talented host and co-creator of CBC radio's Q, was just fired from the CBC (because, he says, his private life has been paraded all over social media and the perception of it is not in synch with CBC standards) and fighting back on social media by telling us he's into consensual BDSM. C.B.C. can't respond because Ghomeshi has launched a law suit. We shall see how this unfolds. If he's a date-rapist, he loses. If he was fired for his sexual predilections, he'll become a rich pervert. He's suing the CBC for $50 million The C. B. C.
The CBC does not have fifty million bucks to spare.

So, What the Actual Fuck, Canada?

These are dangerous times, which is why it's integral that we all keep our WITS about us. Justin Trudeau says, "I want your smarts." Until we can give them to him we have to use them individually, as best we can.

Justin's Dad, Pierre, said, "There's no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation."
Did the CBC just cut its own throat. At the very moment when we really need it?

Pierre Trudeau also called in the National guard during the October Crisis. Remember it? We got through that bout of domestic terrorism. We can get through all this. Everyone just needs to smarten up.

xoxo Mad

Bruce Cockburn - Lovers In A Dangerous Time

The Trickle Down of Tragedy

A lost Canadian man, age 32, applied for a passport to go to the middle-east. Due to his criminal record the application was denied. Stuck with no way to join his like-minded brethren in another part of the world, he struck at the very heart of Canada. Domestic terrorism.

The symbolism of what he did, murdering a 24 year old soldier who stood ceremonial guard over the War Memorial on Parliament Hill, is breath-taking. Minutes later he burst into the Federal Parliament Buildings, House of Commons, pursued by police. If he'd done it an hour later, the corridors would've been packed with MPs and press. Inside, a lot of gunfire took place and when it was over he was dead. He died less than ten minutes after he murdered Nathan Cirillo.

Even for a big country like Canada, this was a big shock.


The killer's father (originally from Lybia) hasn't spoken. Today, the killer's mother (an employee of the Federal Gov't) issued a statement on behalf of the family. She said, in part, "I am mad at our son, I don't understand and part of me wants to hate him at this time...Please respect our privacy although many may not feel we deserve any . . . Once again we are so sorry."

Cirillo had a 4 year old son. (The mother is no longer in the picture.) Now, Nathan's mother will care for his son. Today she is “... just completely broken, broken right now."

Everybody is so sorry. People get weary of dealing with crazies, even when the crazies are their own kids; members of their communities; fellow citizens. It's even easier to get weary of crazies who live far away.

93 passports have been seized from people the RCMP deem "dangerous." We keep them here rather than let them ship off to boost the ranks of the radicals. Maybe that's an act of charity on Canada's part. Or is it an infringement on our rights? The killer in question wasn't one of the 93.

All this terrible pain has come about because a deranged man wanted to make a statement. I wonder what his statement really would have been? Neighbours say he was a nice kid. Was there anything left of that kid? Probably not. I suppose he'd have said something maniacal and senseless, although his actions were astonishingly clear. It was too late for him.

Keven Vickers said, "I took him down."

It's also too late for a seemingly all-around nice guy, a reservist who dreamed of becoming a full-time soldier. The manager of a Hamilton restaurant where Cirillo served as a bouncer said...." he would often come straight from the armoury in his fatigues, and change at the club before his shifts, joking he would go from one service job to another."

It's typically Canadian for us to produce this black and white story. There's a bad guy and a good guy and both are dead.

So much sadness and loss trickles down, all the way down to the dawgs.


These are Cpl. Nathan Cirillo's dogs.

photo credit: Molly Hayes, Hamilton Spectator (I think)