#LeonardCohen80 Happy birthday to The Man!

The Man is 80 years old today. Lou Reed said, “We're so lucky to be alive at the same time Leonard Cohen is.” Lou Reed is right!

Here's my tribute to Leonard Cohen, written for Lust Bites "Crush Wednesday," on the occasion of his 76th birthday. (To the melody of Famous Blue Raincoat)

Famous Troubadour

It’s four in the morning but everything's okay
I’m writing you now just to say ‘Happy Birthday’
Toronto is steamy I like where I’m living,
they’re busy on Clinton St. all through the evening

I hear that you’re working
writing your poems, singing in Europe
You were robbed of your savings, G-d!
I hope you’re keeping some kind of record

Yes, and John came by
just to drop off the girls
we’re finished as lovers, for sure
It’s been good for us, we have grown
Apart, and for good.
I loved you, as John did,
your songs were about us,
destructive, creative and tortured with love/lust
You were part of our courtship,
and part of our wedding
still we weren’t prepared
for the pain of our ending

And you treated all women to a sip of your life
I took more than my share, now I’m nobody’s wife

Well I see you, hair grey and wrinkly face
Silent One so full of grace
Well I’m dry again
but now I know how to wait

He took all of your albums
I knew they would help him
He cried all the time, just like me
It cost us so much
to be free of each other
a home and a whole family

It’s hard when you’re young
it gets soft later on
so much to collect,
then so much to be gone


Yes and thanks for the trouble you took for us all
for showing us it's okay
to fall, rise, and fall
I’m so happy you’re happy
an old monk who’s still sexy
and living among us again
I said, ‘Leonard I love you’
at the time of our meeting
I feel like we’ve always been friends

John and I aren’t pals
No secrets, no sighs
but we talk and last night
we laughed at his lies

And thanks for the poems and songs that you write
for helping us give up the fight

We're beautiful losers, like you.

Sincerely, M. Moore

Fantasy Sanatorium

This is where the fragile go for treatment, because in this fantasy land psychological pain is honoured, even if the source of it is common. Death, divorce – even the existential dilemma we call ‘mid-life crisis’ is treated with compassionate care.
The patients’ rooms are large and immaculately clean. The nurses wear traditional nurses’ garb. There are doctors who treat both physical and mental disorders and each one has plenty of time for each patient.
There are lovely drugs, of course. Therapeutic baths. Little walks around the aesthetically pleasing grounds are encouraged but not mandatory. The food is irresistible, delivered three times a day by pleasant people. There is beautiful music.

Everybody is kind. The more the patient suffers, the more delicately she is handled. Sensitivity, in this world, is highly regarded. Those who work in the arts are valued for their dedication, not their popularity. There is art everywhere in this land but in the sanatorium all the art, while of the highest quality, is soothing.

The patient has no workload; it’s all being taken care of. If her home needs to be cleaned it is cleaned. If she has pets they are well-looked after. If she has children they are coddled. There is nothing for her to worry about while she is in the sanatorium.

She sleeps between sheets of fine Egyptian cotton. She sleeps until she isn’t tired anymore. She talks until she doesn’t want to talk anymore. She visits with her friends as often or as infrequently as she wants. Everybody understands. When her children come to visit they bring fresh flowers and chocolate and they are delightful. They shower her with baby kisses, even if they aren’t babies. They love her more for her fragility than they did before. She doesn’t have to be strong for them, they are magically strong and well and sweet.

There are peer-affection-workers; nice men and women who have been where the patients are now. They visit often and their job is to pet and compliment and make love to their patients. No pain; no expectation. If she wants kisses she is kissed. If she wants sex she gets sex. She is not expected to play any role of any type. She accepts what she wants when she wants it. There are no complications or consequences, except she feels better. The human touch.

Because she has been diagnosed as sad, all her external problems are taken care of in her absence. If she needs a bed, there will be a bed in her home when she is discharged. And so on.

Really, this is a place dedicated to loving and accepting those who have become, through sadness, pitiful and irritating. They don’t ever have to leave but because they get better they want to leave and so they do. Some return as peer-affection-workers or volunteer flower-arrangers. Some donate their paintings or their music or their art, some donate their time, or money. Some donate nothing. It’s okay not to give back. By getting well, the patient has already given back.

Oh! That’s right! In this magical sanatorium, everyone always gets well.

8 Months

If you could see me
you’d be so sad
your eyes might fill
with the only kind of tears you ever had
unshed.

I’m skinny, I swear, I smoke and I flirt like mad
there’s no black on white only the blur of grey and –
look, never mind, I promise I’ll be okay
I’m still here so I may as well stay.

Don’t let little old me
make you feel bad.
It’s a bitter pill
I choose not to swallow.
Close your eyes, sweetheart, or turn away
I do not want to burden the gentled shoulders
of the dead.

Too much

I cannot take
another loss
but lose is what I do
I do not know
why I must pay
so much for loving you.
I cannot take
another love
but love is what I do
I do not know
why I must pay
so much for losing you.

Six Months

Six months ago today, (E.S.T) . . .

Michael is in the hospital. Ive written this poem, (for lack of a better word.) Now I'm sitting beside his hospital bed, facing his back, working on it. (I only know this because the date is typed on the copy I'd printed to take with me to the hospital.)

He is facing the window, where the big tree at the entrance to the hospital is labouring under the weight of an encasement of ice.
Neither will last till morning.

We don't talk. I have him cranked on morphine so he will not be in pain. I never want him to be in pain again. He has been made comfortable facing the window. I can't sit on that side of his bed because that will position me beside the radiator and I can't take the heat.

I've already had pneumonia guy removed from what passes for I.C.U. in this community hospital. I've already rattled the bars on the empty bed beside him until the alarmed nurse said, "What's the matter with you?"

"I want to know what's wrong with him. I think he has leukemia!"

"He doesn't have leukemia. The Doctor will fill you in. He's making his rounds."

I get that if I misbehave I'll have to leave, so I take a valium, sit back down and work on this thing some more.
Michael says, "Are you crying?"
I say, "Yes."

I haven't looked at this since he and his tree broke down and died.

It isn't very good but this is all it'll ever be. I can't touch it, not even to fix a grammatical error. I'm going to have to let it stand. This is my six month tribute to my late man.



Poor Me

or

If It’s Christmas This Must Be I.C.U.

I’ll bring you the poisonous plant
(poisonous for the cat)
the poinsettia from my Dad,
same as before.

This time I don’t have to worry
about paying for parking,
because we don’t have a car!
But it’s hard to get a cab this time of year.

Poor me.

Bell cut off our internet.
Yeah, behind all the ISPs
lurks Ma Bell.

I called the techie super nerd
and asked him to fix it
but he said he can’t.

I said, “What if I threaten to kill myself?”
I said, “I’m a writer, I could pen a piece for the Globe and Mail.”
I said, “My husband’s in the hospital, we get paid by e-transfer.”

He said he had no opinion on any of that.
(Not even the suicide threat. Stupid boy.)
I hope we get it back before Christmas,
Seems all my real friends aren’t here.

Twenty years in this two bit town
I can’t get a ride to the hospital?

Poor, poor me.

I’m no poet.
I don’t call you Felix.
I call you “Boss” most of the time.
Sometimes Mikola.

OH MIKOLA DON’T GO.

I taught you that anger is a valid emotion.
It’s okay to laugh out loud.
You can love without risking the cheap tricks
of women who want you to change.

You taught me that a man
could know me, really know me
and love me all the time,
and say “I adore you,” and “I never lie,”
and I could believe him, love him back
and not risk the terrible tricks
of men who want to change me.

C’mon sweetheart,
we’ve been here before.
Okay, the ten good years you promised me are up
but you know I always want more.

Come home come home
We (that stupid cat and me) can’t be a family without you.
I made stew! I cleaned up all your blood!
I’ve never had a problem begging,
look at me, so “decorative”
down on my knees,
I beg you and baby Jesus and God and Bob and Zeus and all
the big guys you don’t believe in.
Come home.

Hey Boss! We forgot to get married!
But we never forgot to be in love.

Lucky, lucky me.



Dec.21, 2:50 a.m.

T.O.D. Dec. 22, 6:20 a.m.
Last words: “I’ve had enough. I’m going now.”