Eye Candy Monday

Oh sexy people you look like you're having so much fun. Can I play too?

Photo credit:newperumetoday.blogspot.com

Historical Fiction - how do they do it?

I popped over to Justyne Elliot's blog to have a little read of her historical piece, and I was hooked so fast it was freaky. I just love that historical stuff. I can't do it, at least not yet, so I get an extra charge out of the way great historical romance writers make the language flow across the page as if it was effortlessly, almost carelessly, put together. That really gets me panting, as a writer and a reader, and I *love* when that happens. A snippet of her snippet from 1888 Part 2:

Florence giggled. “Jessie Carter, you are a radical. But you echo my own thoughts on the matter. Of course, Mama and Papa are set on moulding me into a perfect porcelain society belle with no thought in her head beyond snaring some chinless lordling and deferring to his half-baked wishes evermore.”

Creaaaaaaaaaaaam

1888 Part 3 is already up, so hustle your bustle on over to her blog as fast as you can and catch some of this steamy historical stuff.

I write contemporary erotica. Sometimes I write paranormal contemporary erotica. Although I do have an idea for a futuristic piece, it's not written yet.

But I do have an historical idea, finally. It takes place in
Japan in the 1800's. That counts, right? Actually, it's a futuristic historical piece set in Japan. And no, it isn't written yet. But that one definitely will be written because I am so very intrigued by the premise.

But this 19th Century stuff - I adore it but it scares me. All that attention to detail, the buttons the corsets the customs and the culture. Yikes. I don't believe I could do it without falling into purple prose, wherein my characters swoon and suffer from the vapours. So I will leave it to Justine and other talented mistresses of the genre, like Madelynne Ellis.This is from the free story on her website, "Any Port in a Storm":

Elsie lifted another garment. The state of Frank’s rough, work stained hands didn’t bother her. She imagined their touch would be soft enough when it suited, just like Taylor’s were. “I’m not looking for a husband,” she said. “I already have one. I’m just admiring what’s in plain sight, that’s all.”

At that moment Frank stood. Grimy black water spattered the cobblestones. His longjohns, once baggy, now clung to his hips and thighs, outlining muscles and hollows. Where it was in contact with skin the cotton had turned transparent, so that around the crotch his black bush clearly framed the swell of his balls and shaft.

Jessie whistled in response. “I take it back. Big boy, isn’t he? Shouldn’t we look away, or something?”

Hearing the whistle, Frank turned his head, and seeing his cousin, gave a wide goofy grin. “All right, Jessie,” he said. “Me mam’ll be right vexed if she sees you out here while I’m washing.”

Ah, sometimes it's great to forget about being a writer and lose myself in the joy of reading. Don't you agree?

xoxox Mad

Images:
corset: vitruvian-musings.tumblr.com
girls in 19th century dress: 860garmentsbyglenda.com
sexy stockings: unusualhistoricals.blogspot.com
sexy naked military man: johncoulthart.com

Eye Candy Monday - Golden Globes Edition

Okay I know Johnny Depp didn't win an award but he was nominated for two so I think that earns him (and his once love Kate Moss) top spot on my
special Golden Globes edition of Eye Candy Monday.

Here's a lady who did win, with her husband, who's probably won a few GGs in his time. Yes, this is them awhile back but - don't they look adorable? I like Warren Beatty but I goddam love Annette Benning. (Winner of this year's Golden Globe award for Best Actress in a comedy or musical.) The film, co-starring Julianne Moore, is called The Kids Are All Right.

And now - My real time coverage of the 2011 Golden Globes

Red Carpet: Most of the women are looking good this year and I'm noticing the pale lipstick.The gowns, by and large, are uncharacteristically unique and gorgeous.

It's nice to see Natalie Portman pregnant, (by her choreographer/boyfriend with the improbable last name of Millepied). I can actually hear, even from Canada, the collective sigh of relief of Hollywood wives. Presumably, Portman is off the prowl for at least the rest of the year.

Rickie Gervais is marvellous. He says he must not have done his job properly last year in order to be invited back this year and promises this year he will make sure they never invite him back again. So far, Ricky, so fab. I think he'll be back. He and Steve Carell did their usual who-hates-who-most schtick which, as Carell accurately commented, 'never gets old.'

Yes, I know, Johnny didn't win anything but he was nominated twice so I think it only fair to post two pictures of him in my blog.

Oh God it always makes me happy when the winning screenwriter was a nobody last year, as happened again tonight. He said, "A year ago I wouldn't have believed this was possible." That's the sort of story that keeps screenwriters banging away at the keyboard with the clear knowledge that they are simply sending letters hurtling into space to be sucked into a black hole. I can only hope the day never comes when all those consonants and nouns, not to mention grammatical marks, crash back to earth at the same moment, obliterating all of us.

But tonight is not about the bitterness of the 95% of screenwriters, actors, directors, producers who will never stand on that stage. Tonight is about watching the best of the best, the glitziest of the glitziest, and the most beautiful of the beautiful people celebrate their year. And everyone, from erotica short story authors to major movie stars, ought to get their time in the gorgeous sunlight. Like this improbable movie star:

Hey, Sly was there!
Okay, don't think I don't get the point of Eye Candy Monday, because I do. Proof:

Alright maybe he didn't look like that last night, but he once looked like that and I'm eternally grateful for his beauty. Oh and all the good things
he does for the world. And for his acting, sometimes, too.

Same goes for Matt Damon, who gave Robert De Niro a terrific introduction when de Niro was presented with the Cecil B. DeMille award. De Niro, whom I recall at one time could not articulate well enough to give an interview, was hilarious as well as eloquent. No cheat sheets, either. I hope his second standing ovation lasted the entire time the commercials played.

Sometime I'll tell you my real life Robert de Niro story. Perhaps Robert de Niro anecdote would be more accurate . . . but I do have one!

I'm doing this in real time, so I have to register a disappointment to see that Glee beat out The Big Bang Theory. No Glee pics on my site.

Wow, shout out to Paul Giamatti for a surprising win for Barney's Version,the movie made from Mordecai Richler's novel of the same name. Nice of Paul to salute "the great nation of Canada." Woo hoo.

Frankly, I'm impressed that The Social Network took the Best Picture Golden Globe. A new era is certainly upon us, and the two young actors (who didn't dash onto the stage with the rest of the above the line folks to celebrate, and has to be called up by the producer) are very likely to be the superstars of the future.

For me, in truth: If the Golden Globe Fairy Godmother cast a spell on me that landed me, suitably garbed, gorgeous (and single) in the middle of the festivities, and said I could take home anyone I wanted (also, by the same spell, unencumbered by wife or girlfriend) I think I'd be really happy to say to this fellow, 'Congratulations Mr Firth, my name is Madeline Moore.'

space junk photo from: dailymail.co.uk
canada shorts from wordans.com
all other celebrity photos from google

Grinning from Ear to Ear

OMG I am chuffed to fuck, as they say in the British Army, or at least, they did when Felix was enlisted. Why? Well, as I often do when I'm at odds after a bout of the vapours, I visited the ERWA to see if I could find inspiration amidst the "Author's Resources" pages. There, I was drawn to a piece by Shanna Germain called Building Your Online Boudoir, Part 1
in which Shanna, talking about alluring sites, wrote this:

Madeline Moore's site is an inviting pink and cream collaboration, accented with photos, all of which makes for a warm and welcome online space.

Hey! That's my blog she's writing about! With a link to it and everything.
Shanna, you discerning dollface, thank you for the shout out. And you know, coming as a surprise made it extra fun, like when the cute ice cream gal gives you an extra dollop on your cone when you weren't even flirting with her. Bonus!

This got me thinking. What if I posted regularly, instead of every so often. My webmaster, and I do have a webmaster now because I have a website at http://telltale.ca/ tells me I must post regularly so I will get more followers and become more popular and sell more books.

My problem has been I don't always have anything important to say. But then again, does it have to be important? Perhaps not. Perhaps it can be a mishmash of thoughts, snippets of information, shout outs to fab writers, and stuff I think is sexy or funny.

This post will be about being funny

Steve Martin is a comic genius. The first time I saw him on TV he had the arrow 'piercing' his head and was playing the banjo and singing "Rambling Man." But, instead of singing, "I'm a Raaaaaaaaaaaaamblin' man'
he was singing, "I'm a Rammmmmmmmmblin' man,' which was hysterical. They cut to commercial in the middle of the song and came back at the end. I was apoplectic. Later I realized it was done on purpose, to be funny.

His humour relies a great deal on 'the smart guy' holding forth on some topic and not realizing that he's coming across as 'the dumb guy', which is my favourite comedic approach. And then there's his physical comedy. A piece about him in The New Yorker described the way he leaned into the wind at a 45 degree angle that, according to the author, simply could not be done.

His work is sometimes featured in The New Yorker now, and those pieces are hilarious, too. I recall, in particular, when he wrote about a serious shortage of periods. The entire story was one long, artfully created sentence with, at the very end, a single period.

I've read all his books. In his autobiography, Born Standing Up, he tells marvellous tales of the early days when the venues he played were small and he would suddenly announce, "Everyone next door for pizza!" Or, "Everyone into the pool!" The audience would follow him outside, in the latter case to fill an empty pool into which he dove, to be held up and passed about by his fans while he feigned swimming. Oh comic marvel!

We've all seen his movies. I'll never forget the scene in DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS where his character pretended to be Ruprecht, the moronic brother of Michael Cane's character, in order to get Michael out of his upcoming nuptials. Who can forget the cork on the end of Ruprecht's fork? Or THE JERK, from beginning to end, one big ol' laugh after another. My favourite scene in that movie is when the phone book arrives and he finds his name in it and bursts into paroxysms of glee, "I'm somebody! I'm somebody!" To this day when the phone book arrives I look up my name and, upon finding it, leap about in ecstasy. "I'M SOMEBODY!"

He's a produced playwright and, get this, he won the 2010 Grammy for "Best Blue Grass Album" for THE CROW: NEW SONGS FOR THE FIVE-STRING BANJO.

I enjoyed his first novel, Shop Girl, and the subsequent movie. So when I asked Santa for his new novel, An Object of Beauty, and got it, I settled in for what I imagined would be a sure-fire good read.

It escaped me. On the back, Joyce Carol Oates says "I was reminded of Edith Wharton's 'The Age of Innocence.'" so I guess she liked it. It's about the art world, pre and post 911. I guess J.C.O. and S.Martin are lots smarter than I am and that's okay but I don't get the feeling Oates is trying to prove it, in her work, while this latest book of Martin's felt like he was really pushing the "I know I'm funny but I'm also a genius" thing a little too far for poor old me. I'm funny too, but I'm spared the burden of trying to prove my genius by not being one. I feel like saying to Mr. Martin, "Relax man, we get it. You're a comic genius and a regular genius, too."
Any one else have an opinion on the book?

And hey, who am I to say I'm funny? I have proof! During the 1980 Screen Actor's Guild of America strike a lot of actors travelled up north to get whatever work they could in Canada until the strike was settled. Jamie Farr was in Edmonton, Alberta doing, if you can believe it, dinner theatre. This was when M.A.S.H. was still being produced. He showed up at The Bistro Praha, where the small but dedicated, black-clad artsy crowd of which I was a member hung out. A bunch of us wound up drinking champagne with him all night, at the end of which Jamie Farr said to me, "You are the funniest person I've ever met." Now you might say it was the champers talking but I say, "Thank you Jamie!"

All my life I've been told to a) get into stand-up and b) for God's sake write a comic novel. I have done neither. It's no secret that funny people, Jim Carrey being perhaps the most famous example, are often depressive. Bill Murray, who kills me every single moment he's onscreen, except in those unfunny flicks he makes, is likely another.

You know what. Getting the absurdity of life can be as tragic as it is hilarious, and you don't have to be a genius to be all too aware of that.

And there it is, my Thursday post. I'll be back for 'Eye Candy Monday'
and every Thursday there'll be a new post on 'Madeline's Musings.' All you gotta do is show up!

xoxox Mad

Picture credits:
Rafael Nadal and Serena Williams: hcfoo.com
All the rest: photoshop, etc.

Into the New Decade

And sayonara to the naughts. 2010 was a great year for Felix and me, financially. Once he stopped dying in hospital and came home we mutually recovered for most of the rest of the winter and then kicked into gear, creating a fabulous screenwriting course which we will soon be teaching.

That and the proofing etcetera of our crime novel kept us busy into November and then we were free to get ready for Christmas without a Jan.1 deadline over our heads. First time in years, but I can't say it made Christmas all that much better.

I'm ready to take a stand against Christmas. Next year I'm going AWOL for Dec. 24,25,26. Hear me now! I swear, I love the family get-togethers but the pressure and cost and crowded living conditions add up to me - shouting. I don't like it when I shout at Christmas, but I invariably do. Next year, I won't be shouting because I will be AWOL. If I shout, it will be where no one can hear me. In a forest, perhaps, where there is just the sound of me shouting and the trees falling. Or is there?
I'd like to say my goal of becoming a really healthy, vibrant, happening woman in her fifties has not been accomplished yet. I hope it doesn't take another decade to complete, because then I'll be in my sixties and that, I'm sure, will be a fresh hell.

As faithful readers of my blog (and you both know who you are) already know, I suffered some over the holidays. In truth, two friends are gone. It's strangely peaceful. I want one of them back, but I can wait. I can wait a decade, if I have to. I think we'll see each other again. The other can stay gone. I need this peace.

Like the phoenix rising from its own ash, a band of authors
declared their understanding of and affection for me. I realized
I'm part of a community of writers who will stand up for one of their members. Wow. I think that might have been the very best thing that
happened in 2010. I will pay that forward, friends. I promise.

As we slouch toward the end of the year, I consider and reject a number of New Year's Resolutions, in favour of this one: Be More Productive, Mad.
Less suffering and more writing.

I love writing. So why procrastinate? It's a huge question for me and a lot of other writers as well. I'm going to bash down that barrier and write all the time, as Felix does. I think it'll be great.

Happy New Year!

xoxo Mad.

Once Upon a Time: Photobucket
Writing life illustration from: hsc.csu.edu.au
AWOL: investmentpostcards.com
New Year's Celebration photo: muzixworld.wordpress.com